Author: Kate McCamy

Kate McCamy was raised in lower Manhattan by bohemian artist parents and grew up surrounded by creative minds. She has worked in film and theatre all her life from off off Broadway to Hollywood films. She is a published and produced playwright, screenwriter and songwriter, has been employed as a script doctor; taught playwriting at Julia Richman High School in Queens for Theatre For New Audiences; ran an improvisation workshop and was a Teacher-Director for the Circle Repertory Company Arts and Education outreach program. She studied film and screenwriting at New York University, but has learned the most from the school of life, traveling the world and working in the \"Business\".
Posted on

Paris figures a way out

Exclusive for ArtofthePrank.com! Paris Hilton’s Prison Diary!
Day 12 & 13

Dear Diary,

paris_hilton-glasses2002.jpgDay 12
Libby is going to jail too! I don”t feel so alone. I guess if you are famous jail is the new black. Scooter isn”t really “famous famous” he”s just a politician. Seems like a lot of them are going to the slammer these days. Oh well. At least he won”t have that BDB for a guard like me. And it”s really really unfair that I have to serve more time than the regular criminals! There is like a jihad against celebrity in this world I swear. So not fair. Like Princess Diana was killed for pissing off the Queen by dating that guy who like, owned Harrods?! and Barbaro was killed cos he was really really fast. OMG I fear for my life! I swear I sit in the corner of my room waiting for the next brick to fall but I can”t do anything about it cos they won”t even let me have a nail file. As you can see I”m pretty depressed right now, and they had the nerve to move me back into the normal jail. It”s so not fair! My feet are so gross and they won”t let me get a pedicure! I can”t take it anymore! Mommy!

Day 13
Yeah it”s visiting day! I look forward to Saturday like more than anything I”ve ever looked forward to in my whole life, even my trips to the spa. Which if I stop to think about it a day at the spa really means a day in the mud. Why are all beauty treatments so gross? It”s so cute, fans are making these Paris cupcakes with a popsickle stick made into a file stuck in side. Is that darling or what? Sooo Elliot, even though I”m mad at him for everything right now and want to scratch his eyes out. Mom and Dad said I”m doing great and that I”ll get out early for good behavior.

Related posts:

  1. The Plot to Bury Progress
  2. The Dubious Fame of William McGonagall
  3. Doug Marlette, Cartoonist – In Memoriam
  4. Remembering The Realist – July update
Posted on

Paris: My actions have consequences, kind of

Exclusive for ArtofthePrank.com! Paris Hilton’s Prison Diary!
Day 11

Dear Diary,

www.seenobjects.org/2006-05-21-the-fly

I am paying more attention, really, because, I was like watching this bug, I think it was a fly, because it was flying and I watched for like hours as it flew in circles around my room. Although it was more like a square because it was flying and hitting these imaginary corners so it was more square like. So, see? I am paying attention, right? It felt kinda like a K hole, meditative, you know? But with no drugs involved, was really weird but cool because it”s so much better for you to get high with out the drugs, right? I mean especially for the complexion. I think E makes me break out. So I am really thankful to the fly for making me realize this and then I squished it with my prison flip flop cos they”re nasty and carry germs and stuff. And then I felt all oogy and bad for killing the fly. I mean it is a living thing, even though they”re gross, right? So now I feel crummy. Sometimes paying attention is a real bring down. Like the pandas dying in the zoos, they are soooo cute, I mean that is like so SO sad. Bummed me right out. And then I read about the Koala bears having lesbian orgies in the zoos, I mean what is going on in those zoos?? Hey Joey baby, think about it, Koala”s gone wild!

Related posts:

  1. In Celebration of Street Art, 2011
  2. Breast Milk Ice Cream Sold By the Scoop
  3. Matrix Ping Pong
  4. Saul Steinberg: Illuminations
Posted on

Paris finds God in jail

Exclusive for ArtofthePrank.com! Paris Hilton’s Prison Diary!
Days 8 thru 10

Dear Diary,

http://arcmusic.wordpress.com/2007/06/08/paris-back-in-the-hoose-cow/Day 8
I think I figured out why the bull dyke bitch is such a well, you know, bitch? She told me that it costs something like ten times more money to put some one in the medical ward, well sure. It”s much nicer, the rooms are sunnier and the colors go with my complexion, I”m a winter. But you”d think that for $1,109.78 a day you”d at least get a massage! Oh and this woman from the ACLU was snooping around and was complaining that this ward is for people worse off than me. Who could be worse than me right now??!! And I signed all those petitions for their causes. I”m marking stuff from the ACLU as spam from now on! So it seems my handlers really liked the me being more spiritual and turning to God. So I guess I have to run with that for a little while. Has anyone ever read that Bible? It”s fucking huge and from what I can tell full of clichés!

Day 9
Saw mom and dad today. Nearly caused a riot outside, supposedly they got special treatment and were rushed passed the line. Well DUH, of course they get the royal treatment cos they”re, you know, Hiltons? I mean come on. I mean please, if we were all really equal then I wouldn”t even be here! No there is a human need that is in the DNA spiral thingy to create idols. Like the Greek myths and all, up to Marilyn Monroe alright? Continue reading “Paris finds God in jail”

Related posts:

  1. High-Minded Holiday Gifts: Tattoo Sleeves
  2. The True Origin of Hip Hop Music
  3. Schmucks for Schmuck
  4. Fake Gift Boxes #3
Posted on

Paris is burning

Exclusive for ArofthePrank.com! Paris Hilton’s Prison Diary!
Days 1 thru 7

Dear Diary,

www.glitzblog.comDay 1
it”s Monday, my first day, and I can tell you Jail sucks. I mean I”m sorry and all for whatever they said I did. I mean I was just getting a damn burger, since when is that a crime??? I hate It here. And I”m freaking out cos they just told me that I can only use the phone for something like an hour, and I have to call collect, which I never did before. Weird? and I have to use a regular phone that other people touch and stuff! And they said there”d be no torture! I hate this place. If I”d a known all this I would never have come. I can”t wait to leave. I can”t believe I”m allowed one stupid hour on line! At least I can cram in some shopping but man this is like so killing me. How could they put ME in here? I have something like 167699 myspace friends, I mean come on, doesn”t that count for something?

Day 2
I broke a nail

Day 3
Ican”tfuckingtakeitanymore!!!! I told the judge that from now on I”ll pay attention to everything and I am, I really am. But the problem is that I have too much time to think. I”m freakin” I really am. I see how shallow my whole life has been, totally caught up in the consumerism and illusions of celebrity and now that I am forced to look inward I see how each breath I take is a gift and that life is precious and how from now on I”m gonna totally look at life differently.
I just re-read this and it”s pretty clear I”m going crazy!! HELP ME!!

Day 4
I”m home, I am so so glad to be out of that rat infested damp cell.Actully I think the walls were sheet rock cos I could hear the girl next door freakin out. But whatever. I got off because I have something called a malady or syndrome. I am deeply afflicted with claustrophobia syndrome or something like that. But whatever I”m home, in my room and oops there goes my phone again. Continue reading “Paris is burning”

Related posts:

  1. Eternal Earth-Bound Pets
  2. How To Tell When Bananas Go Bad
  3. Here Comes the Bride
  4. Roadtrip by Wayne Zebzda

Back to top