Paris: My actions have consequences, kind of

Filed under: Satire

Exclusive for! Paris Hilton’s Prison Diary!
Day 11

Dear Diary,

I am paying more attention, really, because, I was like watching this bug, I think it was a fly, because it was flying and I watched for like hours as it flew in circles around my room. Although it was more like a square because it was flying and hitting these imaginary corners so it was more square like. So, see? I am paying attention, right? It felt kinda like a K hole, meditative, you know? But with no drugs involved, was really weird but cool because it”™s so much better for you to get high with out the drugs, right? I mean especially for the complexion. I think E makes me break out. So I am really thankful to the fly for making me realize this and then I squished it with my prison flip flop cos they”™re nasty and carry germs and stuff. And then I felt all oogy and bad for killing the fly. I mean it is a living thing, even though they”™re gross, right? So now I feel crummy. Sometimes paying attention is a real bring down. Like the pandas dying in the zoos, they are soooo cute, I mean that is like so SO sad. Bummed me right out. And then I read about the Koala bears having lesbian orgies in the zoos, I mean what is going on in those zoos?? Hey Joey baby, think about it, Koala”™s gone wild!