Ask The Fiddler #22: Costly Cures for Imaginary Illnesses
by Ask The FiddlerFiled under: Fraud and Deception, Satire
Editor’s Note: Ask The Fiddler is a lifestyle advice column that aims to remedy more chaos and confusion than it creates. Questions may be submitted to us here at Art of the Prank, and good luck.
Dear Fiddler,
I have a headache that starts in my toes, I”™m allergic to my allergy meds, and my boomerang won”™t come back. What remedy do you suggest?
Barry in D.C.
Dear Barry,
Obviously you need a hearty dose of that legendary scourge of internal corruption, Dr. Fiddler”™s Electro-Cleanse Elixir, completely recyclable and manufactured under strict sanitary conditions when circumstances permit, available at the side door at the conclusion of this essay. Two dollars for the bottle.
On the other hand, you could undoubtedly improve your condition if you would quit watching TV medical ads and cease asking the Internet for a diagnosis.
Those ads and questionable posts can be hazardous to your health. Experts say “exposure to advertising that sells a fantasy of flawless health, perfect skin, clockwork bowels, extended youth and perpetual cheerfulness in the face of disappointment, aging, money woes” “¦ “can create expectations and perceived needs that lead to unnecessary and expensive drug consumption.”
Of course the drug companies argue that their ads are educational. The U.S. and New Zealand are the only countries where drug companies can advertise directly to consumers. It is estimated that every ad dollar spent by Big Pharma yields a four dollar boost in sales of prescription drugs. (more…)