Ask The Fiddler - The Art of the Prank

Author: Ask The Fiddler

The Fiddler is a psychic journalist specializing in intuitive news reports that have, on rare occasions, coincided with real world events. He is perhaps best known, though not particularly well, for his translations of Icelandic runes into Hebrew. In his spare time he has assembled a stunning gallery of natural geologic images resembling the face of Richard Nixon in profile. As to his qualifications as a lifestyle advisor, he has counseled a number of troubled celebrities. Most are currently in rehab. In the words of one client: \"If you take advice from The Fiddler, you need advice.\"

fiddler Editor’s Note: We often receive questions on a variety of prank-hoax-scam related topics. Readers want an assessment of the validity of news reports or web site information, or they suspect a received email is a scam. Some are looking for moral or immoral support for their prank ideas. So, we are pleased to provide a new service, Ask The Fiddler, a lifestyle advice column that may remedy more chaos and confusion than it creates. Questions may be submitted to us here at Art of the Prank, and good luck.

Dear Fiddler:

Now that the U.S. mission is accomplished and all is peaceful in Afghanistan, my friend and I want to head over there to do some bird-watching. Do you have any suggestions to make our trip more enjoyable?

Phil in Pennsylvania.

Dear Phil,

An intriguing choice of destination. As it turns out, the Afghans have a similar hobby. It”™s called drone-watching.

You may want to do just a tad more research regarding your notion that the U.S. is leaving under tranquil conditions. Let”™s say for the sake of tourism risk analysis that a range of one to ten starts at 1) “a picnic,” and concludes at 10) “you must be nuts.” Afghanistan is an 11.

More on that later.

hoopoe-200 Likely you want to know what kind of birds to watch. May I suggest a notable local resident, the Hoopoe, also known as Upupa Epops.

Readily identified by its crown of feathers, it can also be recognized by it peculiar call, “oop-oop-oop.”

Among distinguishing characteristics of the Hoopoe is its ability to direct a stream of feces at a predator.

True fact.

But let”™s talk about your plan in general. Continue reading “Ask The Fiddler #2: Bird Watching in Afghanistan”

Editor’s Note: We often receive questions on a variety of prank-hoax-scam related topics. Readers want an assessment of the validity of news reports or web site information, or they suspect a received email is a scam. Some are looking for moral or immoral support for their prank ideas. So, we are pleased to announce a new service, Ask The Fiddler, a lifestyle advice column that may remedy more chaos and confusion than it creates. Questions may be submitted to us here at Art of the Prank, and good luck.

Dear The Fiddler:

I”™m going for a job interview and, in this troubled economy, there”™s bound to be lots of competition. Can you suggest any body language that might boost my chances?

Chris in Connecticut

Dear Chris:

How about the headstand, could be a hit, depending on what you”™re wearing under your kilt. You bring up an interesting topic. Thing is, there”™s some suggestion that body language is bunk. However, if your interviewer (prospective employer or, say, a cop) is a true believer, what does it matter if it”™s bunk?

Certainly the advocates have created a big industry, lots of books and seminars.

In your case, how to handle an interview, my always-handy copy of “Body Language For Dummies“ suggests that you “Visualize unzipping your torso and freeing the nervous butterflies in your stomach.” That should make an impression. Continue reading “Ask The Fiddler #1: Read My Hips”