Editor’s Note: Ask The Fiddler is a lifestyle advice column that aims to remedy more chaos and confusion than it creates. Questions may be submitted to us here at Art of the Prank, and good luck.
The Fiddle File #3
Here we go with another madcap roundup of hoaxes, scams and damn fool idiocy making the rounds these days. Take heed. Some of these fiddles may soon be showing up on your computer, phone or even up close and personal. Check it out:
Maine: Free groceries if you”re over sixty. Whoops, sorry, no free lunch, just hustlers phishing for personal info.
Everywhere: It”s called “pet-flipping.” Your dog is lost or stolen. Watch for it for sale on Craigslist and probably other classifieds.
Kansas: Pranksters toilet paper this guy”s house, he isn”t happy, shotguns the neighborhood.
Florida, California, Arizona, etc.: This one is called “swoop and squat,” the auto in front of you jams on the brakes, the one behind collides with you. One of several collision scams.
China: Fabricate a terrorist threat, win up to five years in a Chinese jail that probably lacks the comforts of home.
California: The water company employee needs to check your house for pollution. Hint: The public water company isn”t responsible for checking water problems inside your home.
Everywhere: You search for sites featuring Lily Collins. Your reward? A computer loaded with malware. Other dangerous searches noted by McAfee security firm, in order: Avril Lavigne, Sandra Bullock, Kathy Griffith, Zoe Saldana, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, Jon Hamm, Adriana Lima and Emma Roberts.
Spotted a hoax or scam deserving mention in our next roundup? We”d be happy to hear from you at Art of the Prank. You might save some reader a heap of hurting (or give them wild ideas for their next fiddle).
Yes. And the panels are made up of radical liberal Democrats with Fu Manchu beards, dressed in white frocks, huddled over complicated charts, chanting and tossing chicken bones to decide the fates of vulnerable victims of Obamacare. Those victims will be mostly rightwing Republicans, of course. It is their fate to suffer from conspiracies.
It has been suggested that weight loss may be due to aversion, that is to say, dieters would rather starve than eat roadkill. True, there seem to be legitimate concerns about the safety of eating animals found dead on the road. However, Garfield states: “If you aren”t immediately sickened by the odor, odds are it”s safe to eat.” 
Los Angeles: Quality medical care “¦ The