Editor’s Note: Ask The Fiddler is a lifestyle advice column that aims to remedy more chaos and confusion than it creates. Questions may be submitted to us here at Art of the Prank, and good luck.



Dear Fiddler:

Given the terrors of today”™s environment, I get the jitters in airports, schools, shopping malls, and on city streets. I would like to know how to become invisible.

Phil in Ashville

Dear Phil,

You and what army.

As you probably guessed, the U.S. Army.

But they haven”™t quite got it down yet. The current state of the art is theoretical and mainly involves camouflaging troops and weapons to avoid electronic detection.

So it looks you”™re gonna have to go with hoodoo and voodoo. A search should reveal a fair number of sites making promises that they likely can”™t keep. Spells and incantations, that sort of thing.

One vendor assures you there”™s no “mumbo jumbo or hocus pocus” to the method offered (at a price), you won”™t get stuck in some other dimension or astral plane. While the seller eschews “reprehensible behavior” on the part of those who become invisible, an illustration shows an invisible man lifting a woman”™s skirt.

I wouldn”™t worry too much about getting stuck in some other dimension. (more…)

Editor’s Note: Ask The Fiddler is a lifestyle advice column that aims to remedy more chaos and confusion than it creates. Questions may be submitted to us here at Art of the Prank, and good luck.



The Fiddle File #4

Here we go with another madcap roundup of hoaxes, scams and damn fool idiocy making the rounds these days. Take heed. Some of these fiddles may soon be showing up on your computer, phone or even up close and personal. Check it out:

Beverly Hills: Great idea, bust in on your buddy pretending to be armed robbers. A real hoot, until your buddy starts breaking noses.

Everywhere: Congratulations, you”™ve won tons of money in an automated FaceBook lottery. Whoops, sorry — no money just lots of bad stuff loaded on your computer.

St. Louis: Here”™s an airline ticket, please fly to St. Louis and I”™ll give you $19,000 for that ring you advertised on CraigsList. You really don”™t believe this story has a happy ending?

(more…)

Editor’s Note: Ask The Fiddler is a lifestyle advice column that aims to remedy more chaos and confusion than it creates. Questions may be submitted to us here at Art of the Prank, and good luck.



Dear Fiddler:

A friend has purchased a painting he claims was done by a dog. It”™s nothing great, but still “¦ I think he was scammed. Or am I barking up the wrong tree?

Walt in Albuquerque

Dear Walt,

A dog that paints pictures? Come on. It takes forever to get a mutt to sit, or quit chewing pillows, or keep its nose out of interesting roadside crap. Who could possibly believe dogs have artistic capabilities?

But then again. Look at it from the dog”™s point of view. Would Leonardo do a chapel ceiling for a biscuit? Do you think Picasso would even pick up a brush knowing his masterpiece would earn nothing more than a chewy stick? Forget it. No smart dog is going to all that trouble for a cheap treat.

Well, a few, maybe.

Believe it or not, some dogs turn out paintings that sell for big bucks, a thousand and more. There is even a kit for owners who want to see if Jack Russell is the next Jackson Pollock. In several cases I noticed, profits go to support worthy causes. (more…)