A Personal Correspondence from Julian Assange

Filed under: First Amendment Issues, Propaganda and Disinformation

Editor’s note: The Art of the Prank is in receipt of previously unpublished content from the vast archive of WikiLeaks documents. We feel we have an obligation, in the pursuit of freedom of information, to publish these excerpts as we receive them. We will continue to post them as they are sent to us. We realize the danger Julian Assange faces. We can honestly say we do not know where he is.


Thank you for your offer to publish some of the more controversial classified U.S. government documents WikiLeaks brought into the public domain on the 28th of November 2010. Although The New York Times and the Guardian began publishing some of the 251,287 WikiLeaks documents, The New York Times has bowed to government pressure and decided to withhold some passages and in some cases, entire cables whose disclosure, they claim, could compromise American intelligence efforts and even upset U.S. domestic political stability.

Some of the documents being withheld which will give the world unprecedented insight into the US Government’s foreign and domestic activities, appear to be benign except as to cause some embarrassment to certain public figures. One cable withheld is about Silvio Berlusconi, who, while contemplating a run for the Italian presidency, took a medical holiday in Luzern, Switzerland to have a very large “OMERTA” tattoo removed from his back by surgical laser. Also, he and Vladimir Putin have been described by an aid as having had an alcohol and drug fueled “boys night,” shooting out the windows of the UK Consul General’s empty parked Daimler with automatic weapons the pair borrowed from their bodyguards on a Berlusconi Moscow visit.

Sarah Palin attempted to secretly adopt two Downs Syndrome infants through an Asian adoption agency. The Chinese balked when Palin revealed that she needed stand-ins for Trig, her own developmentally challenged infant whom she said could not tolerate the noise and lights for more than an hour or so at the public events she took him to. Instead, Palin has to borrow other Downs Syndrome children from her supporters.

John McCain entertained some wounded Iraqi war vets at Walter Reed with his impression of Lawrence Harvey killing his mother and her U.S. senator husband in the 1962 film, The Manchurian Candidate, saying “You couldn’t stop them Marco, the army couldn’t stop them, so I had to.” McCain recited this after seeing a soldier play the Queen of Diamonds in a game of solitaire. Only a few of the wounded soldiers laughed while most of the younger men appeared to be confused by McCain’s joke.

The Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson was temporarily banned from the Ronald McDonald House in Washington DC after she became inebriated and vomited on the clown’s shoes during a UNESCO event. All tape and films were confiscated by the former Duchess of York’s bodyguards. There is only one short cell phone video remaining of the incident which was included as an AVI file in a State Department communique to the UK.

Kim Jong-Il is a big fan of Lady Gaga and offered to trade up to two kilograms of weapon-grade plutonium in exchange for a concert tour by Gaga in the North Korean State. The popular performer has so far refused, but is said to still be in negotiations with the Communists under the pressure of the Clinton State Department, which views the exchange as being a viable way to limit Pyongyang’s nuclear arsenal. “Lady Gaga would be a small price to pay for world peace,” Secretary Clinton wrote.

WikiLeaks.org believes our actions are not only legal and justified but also necessary as summarized in the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark ruling on the Pentagon Papers, in which they stated that “Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.” We agree.

Julian Assange

image: PCTool