Exclusive for ArtofthePrank.com! Paris Hilton’s Prison Diary!
Days 19 – 23
So I finally read about my case, OMG I really shouldn”™t have been driving. Elliot so should have told me, well louder than he did cos wow, you are so not allowed to drive if your license is suspended, unless it”™s for work and all. As my friend Brittany would say, “OOOPs I did again”¦” So like I read a little more, you know? And there are sooo many laws out there I”™m surprised that everyone isn”™t in jail right now. I mean like EVERYBODY, cos it”™s like impossible not to be breaking some kinda law somewhere, even Ghandi or that other guy who isn”™t dead, the Lama guy? I bet ya even he has broken some kinda law. And I know most of the Bush administration has broken laws that”™s for sure. So like if the guys in charge of making sure that the laws are followed aren”™t even doing it, like why should I? It”™s really not fair. Maybe Nicky and I can start another charity about making the world a fairer place. I mean if we were really all equal wouldn”™t that be great? Well except for Juanita who cleans the house, sorry honey. Oh and Pedro the pool Guy and Elliot, even tho he thinks he”™s equal, but dream on fuckwad!
Ok so I”™ve heard that there is some irony of me being in jail. I thought Irony was when you eat spinach and it”™s good for you cos it has iron and shit in it, but you get it stuck in your teeth and that looks like ass then that is irony.
Now I can”™t get paid for an interview!!? I am so PO”™ed. I mean what? How am I supposed to cash in like OJ! 3 more days! 3 more days! 3 more days! I hope, I hope. I so need a facial!
I”™m withering away”¦. Need some sort of stimulus, can”™t take much more of this introspection.
OMG! What am I gonna wear tomorrow?? I need some makeup smuggled in one of those Paris cupcakes. Remember I”™m a winter!!
Ok, I”™m so outta here and for my exiting outfit I decided on a repentant sage blazer over a simple white tank and dark jeans so I wouldn”™t attract too much attention. No really, I am cured of a need for media circus. I spent so much time curled up in the corner of my solitary cell feeling sorry for myself that I think I learned something, OK? And then I find out these guys are going through my trash and selling it on ebay! I mean that is just too much interest in me, don”™t you think? And so gross! So I am cured, really really cured of media hype. Larry King is my big interview, he bumped that fat guy who just did another documentary that pisses off a lot of my parents friends. I was hoping for something a little more glamorous for prisoner # 9818783. I mean Larry isn”™t very hot you know? Whatev.
photo credit: Light as a Feather Thin as a Rail