Royally Screwed

The Latest William and Kate Wedding Merchandise: Royal Condoms
by Lauren Drell
AOL Small Business
February 1, 2011

The looming nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton have spawned a cottage industry of
commemorative merchandise — everything from tea towels to china sets. But in what may be a royal first, a British company aptly named Crown Jewels has released a three-pack of “condoms of distinction” to honor the Royal Wedding on April 29, 2011.

“Combining the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure,” the company website says of its “heritage love sheaths,” which retail for £5 ($8 USD). However, the site notes that the condoms — which come in a souvenir box and include a collectible photo of William and Kate — are a “novelty” and not suitable for contraception or protection against STDs.

“Our prophylactics are designed as an heirloom product,” spokesman Hugh Pomfret told metro.co.uk. “We would encourage people to keep hold of them as a memento of a special national occasion.” Crown Jewels’ site also notes that the condoms are not approved by the royal family.

So far, consumers do not seem to mind — more than 1,000 units were purchased in the 24 hours after the condoms went live on the website.

thanks Erin

Court Jesters Plan to Be a Royal Pain in the Ass

Anarchists Target Wills and Kate
by Nick Francis
The Sun
31 January 2011

Hate-filled anarchists are plotting to wreck William and Kate’s royal wedding by posing as well-wishers and hiding among the crowd, The Sun can reveal.

Extremists plan to wreak havoc around Westminster Abbey for a month before the big day and aim to ambush royal cars with roadblocks, diversions and smoke bombs on April 29.

A secret email obtained by The Sun shows a satellite photo of the royal route – with arrows marking several locations where the mobs plan to strike.

Leading anarchist Chris Knight revealed details of the campaign in a message to activists.

He outlined a two-pronged approach, with extremists causing havoc around Westminster Abbey for a month before carrying out further attacks on the day of the wedding. Continue reading “Court Jesters Plan to Be a Royal Pain in the Ass”