Don’t Yank My Wanky, I’ll Do It Myself!

Not to be outdone by Jon Stewart’s Rally to Restore Sanity and Stephen Colbert’s March to Keep Fear Alive both planned simultaneously for October 30 on the National Mall in Washington DC, masturbators took to the streets in Delaware to protest Republican senatorial nominee Christine O”™Donnell”™s anti-whacking position:


Delaware Masturbators March Against O”™Donnell
The Borowitz Report
September 17, 2010

Largest Pro-wanking Demonstration in History

Wilmington (The Borowitz Report) – Galvanized by Republican senatorial nominee Christine O”™Donnell”™s anti-masturbation stance, masturbators from across the state converged on Wilmington today in what some are calling the largest pro-wanking protest in American history.

Carrying signs reading, “O”™Donnell: Hands Off Our Masturbation,” the angry masturbators clogged downtown Wilmington, stopping traffic for blocks.

Harley Farger, a leading Delaware masturbator and planner of the Million Masturbators March, said it was difficult to organize masturbators “because they”™re used to acting alone.” Continue reading “Don’t Yank My Wanky, I’ll Do It Myself!”