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Sour Grapes Obituary: How Karl Malden Ruined My Life

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Filed under: Art Pranks

Submitted by Michael Dare July 6, 2009:

Sour Grapes Obituary: How Karl Malden ruined my life
by Michael Dare


It’s completely personal. Between me and him. Karl Malden fucked up my life, he really did. No matter how much I dig his talent – and I certainly do, he’s a Strasberg acting God, and I studied with Strasberg in New York in 1970 where he was treated as such, so I know – Malden is still the premiere putz in my professional life. Or was. He’s dead now. Great. Now I get to be pissed off at a dead man.

I know you’re sick of celebrity obituaries in this horrible week of death and chaos, but this one’s different. At this point I’ve got to pin you to the wall like a drunk in a Hollywood bar, slurring my speech, hot breath in your face, “You don’t understand, no matter how good he was in Baby Doll, I’m glad he’s dead, that bastard…”

Luckily, I’m not that drunk. Here’s what happened 20 years ago: (more…)