Paul Krassner - The Art of the Prank

Author: Paul Krassner

Paul Krassner calls himself an investigative satirist. Don Imus labeled him \"one of the comic geniuses of the 20th century.\" And, According to the Los Angeles Reader, \"Krassner delivers 90 minutes of the funniest, most intelligent social and political commentary in town.\" On the other hand, a couple of FBI agents went to one of his performances and stated in their report, \"He purported to be humorous about government policies.\" His FBI files indicate that after Life magazine published a favorable profile of him, the FBI sent a poison-pen letter to the editor, complaining: \"To classify Krassner as a social rebel is far too cute. He\"™s a nut, a raving, unconfined nut.\" \"The FBI was right,\" says George Carlin. \"This man is dangerous--and funny; and necessary\"... See more of Paul's bio at paulkrassner.com

Submitted by Paul Krassner, written by Michael Dare for Dareland,
March 26, 2008

The true story of the biggest April Fool’s Day Prank of All Time

Lies To Get You Out of the House

None of this is my fault. At least not all my fault. There are plenty of others to blame. For instance, there’s the Bhagwan . . .

I start out 1985 at the Bodhi Tree, a multispiritual bookstore on Melrose with incense and herbal tea. I am looking for nothing in particular, which is when you stumble upon the most surprising things. I am skimming from section to section, belief system to belief system, from Asimov to Zoroaster, when there in front of me is an entire wall of books by someone I’ve never heard of. His name is Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, and he is not famous yet. He has not yet moved to Oregon, started an ashram, collected Rolls-Royces and gotten thrown out of the country. But he will be equally responsible for the Biggest April Fool’s Day Prank of all time. If I had not opened a random book by Rajneesh, turned to the first page and read the first paragraph, none of this would have happened. Here is what that first page said:

Beyond the boundary of this room is the unbound, open sky. You have never seen it. I can talk with you about the sky, about the freshness, about the sea, about all that is beyond this room, but you have not seen it. You do not know about it. You just laugh; you think I am making it up. You say, “It is all fantastic. You are a dreamer.” I cannot convince you to go outside because everything that I can talk about is meaningless to you. Then I say, “The house is on fire!” This is meaningful to you; this is something that you can understand. Now I do not have to give you any explanations. I just run; you follow me. The house is not on fire, but the moment you are outside you don’t have to ask me why I lied. The meaning is there; the sky is there. Now you thank me. Any lie will do. The lie was just a device; it was just a device to bring you outside. It did not cause the outside to be there. Every religion is based on a lie device.

I immediately dig the guy. Here he is, right off the bat, admitting that he’s lying to me. I buy the book and never finish it, but I do end up carrying a phrase around in my head for days, like a hit song with a killer hook. “Lies to get you out of the house.” I write it down at the top of a piece of paper, sure that something will come.

It does. Continue reading “Lies To Get You Out of the House”

The following is excerpted from Paul Krassner’s book, Sex, Drugs and the Twinkie Murders: -JS

In the midst of Disneyland’s 50th anniversary celebration, DisneyLies.com claimed to be serving 50 to 100 gigabites a day of such online imagery as a couple of newlyweds caught on Tom Sawyer Island after dark, major nudity on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, and a virtual orgy on Pirates of the Caribbean. There was also a steamy incident with a couple of cast members in the secret room at the top of the Matterhorn, too. Ah, but what about all those cartoon characters themselves? Continue reading “The Disneyland Memorial Orgy”