Cheetah the chimp is dead? Maybe not
by Bryan Alexander
USA TODAY
December 27, 2011

Cheetah the chimpanzee is dead. But whether the suddenly celebrated primate really was the co-star in Johnny Weissmuller’s classic Tarzan films will remain a Hollywood mystery.

On Christmas Eve, Cheetah died of kidney failure at the Suncoast Primate Sanctuary in Palm Harbor, Fla., setting off a flurry of international headlines mourning the loss. Debbie Cobb, 51, the sanctuary’s outreach director, claims that the chimp was a stunning 80 years old and had been the star of the 1930s Tarzan movies.

Many are skeptical. (more…)

From Robert F:

Islamic Cleric Bans Women From Handling Bananas, Cucumbers & Other Phallic Produce
by Jim Hoft
Gateway Pundit
December 7, 2011

They could arouse women and make them think of sex.

An Islamic cleric in Europe says that women should avoid bananas, cucumbers, zucchini and other phallic fruits and vegetables. They may arouse sexual thoughts and that would be horrible.
Bikamasr reported, via ROP:

An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”

The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”

He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.

The sheikh was asked how to “control” women when they are out shopping for groceries and if holding these items at the market would be bad for them. The cleric answered saying this matter is between them and God.

From Erin: Hunter Thompson, who had his ashes shot from a cannon, would have loved this…

Turn Your Cremated Remains into Live Ammunition with Holy Smoke
by Brit Liggett
inhabitat.com
October 10, 2011

With all the talk these days about the destructive and toxic nature of modern day burials, sustainable ways to honor your deceased loved ones are popping up left and right. Now with the help of Holy Smoke, an Alabama-based company started by Clem Parnell and Thad Holmes, you can turn your loved one’s ashes into live ammunition and honor them with a bang. The founders actually started the company partially because of personal issues with the ecological costs of burials and are offering their services for just $850 — plus shipping and handling.

Read the rest here.

BBC’s ‘Goldman Sachs Rules the World’ Trader: Hoax or Our Worst Nightmare? [Updated]
New York Magazine
by Joe Coscarelli
September 27, 2011

A trader by the name of Alessio Rastani told a shocked BBC News reporter yesterday, “The governments don’t rule the world, Goldman Sachs rules the world.” He warned, “The savings of millions of people are going to vanish,” and said viewers should “get prepared” because the “economic crisis is like a cancer, if you just wait and wait thinking this will go away, just like a cancer it’s going to grow and it’s going to be too late.” He added, “I have a confession: I go to bed every night and I dream of another recession, I dream of another moment like this.” Such frank (psychopathic?) language earned Rastani attention from news outlets like the Huffington Post, the Guardian, and the Daily Mail, but the chatter on Twitter is crying hoax. (Update: It appears to be legit! See below for more info.)

BBC Business Editor Robert Peston wrote this morning on Twitter, “BBC (& I) may have been hoaxed by YesMen,” referring to the culture jamming group that touts itself as, “impersonating big-time criminals in order to publicly humiliate them. Our targets are leaders and big corporations who put profits ahead of everything else.” Peston and the Internet’s doubters pointed to this Yes Men stunt, which features a fake Dow Chemical spokesman who bears some resemblance to Rastani, the trader.

Peston has since defended the BBC guest: “We spoke to the trader again this morning, & as far as we can tell he is a genuine independent trader, not a member of YesMen.” (more…)

Anarchists Target Wills and Kate
by Nick Francis
The Sun
31 January 2011

Hate-filled anarchists are plotting to wreck William and Kate’s royal wedding by posing as well-wishers and hiding among the crowd, The Sun can reveal.

Extremists plan to wreak havoc around Westminster Abbey for a month before the big day and aim to ambush royal cars with roadblocks, diversions and smoke bombs on April 29.

A secret email obtained by The Sun shows a satellite photo of the royal route – with arrows marking several locations where the mobs plan to strike.

Leading anarchist Chris Knight revealed details of the campaign in a message to activists.

He outlined a two-pronged approach, with extremists causing havoc around Westminster Abbey for a month before carrying out further attacks on the day of the wedding. (more…)

Joaquin Phoenix documentary: Even buyers aren’t sure if it’s a prank
by John Horn
The Los Angeles Times
May 7, 2010

It’s far from the Joaquin Phoenix you’re used to seeing onscreen: snorting cocaine, ordering call girls, having oral sex with a publicist, treating his assistants abusively and rapping badly. And not, apparently, playing a role — or was he?

Even after seeing the documentary “I’m Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix” in a private screening earlier this week, film buyers still aren’t sure of its genuineness. Was the “Walk the Line” and “Gladiator” star, who said more than a year ago that he was quitting acting to become a musician, playing a sophisticated prank, or did he really ditch his Oscar-nominated career to become a disheveled rapper?

Agents at William Morris Endeavor, the sellers of the Casey Affleck-directed film, have started showing the movie to potential distributors, and while some were apparently interested in bidding for “I’m Still Here’s” distribution rights, the shoppers left the screening perhaps even more mystified by Phoenix’s behavior than when they walked in. (more…)

From Charlie Todd of Improv Everywhere:

No Underwear Subway Ride

For our latest mission, over 1,000 people rode the subway without underwear or pants in New York City. Our annual No Pants Subway Ride has been a tradition for years, and we decided it was time to up the ante. Enjoy the video first and then go behind the scenes with our mission report and photos. (We have blurred out the private parts of all the riders but keep in mind it still might not be considered “safe for work.”)

The April Fools 2010: The TechCrunch definitive list will be updated all day.

In the meantime, DO NOT go to the College Humor web site until they work out the kinks…

The Independent UK brings news today heralding scientific advances of unimaginable significance:

Mypopic viewpoint

Car technology breakthrough hailed as vehicles driven by near-sighted persons are fitted with prescription glass windscreens. Watch the video here.





Licking history

The Sun has today made newspaper history with the world’s first flavoured page. On page 17 a white square carries the words “Lick here” and an arrow advises viewers where to place their tongues to experience the flavour… Sadly, it doesn’t work online

There’s no place like home-page

Google has officially changed its name to Topeka. The news follows last month’s decision by the mayor of Topeka in Kansas to change the city’s name to Google.

Etre, ou ne pas être, c’est là la question

The Today Programme on BBC Radio 4 reported this morning that archaeologists from Birmingham University have uncovered evidence to suggest that Shakespeare’s mother was French.



And, that’s not all… To see the rest, visit here.

(more…)

Michael Jackson séance to be shown live on TV
by Martin Higgins
Metro.co.uk
October 14, 2009

Sky TV to broadcast medium’s attempt to reach the late King of Pop

Sky Television has announced that psychic medium Derek Acorah will attempt to contact Michael Jackson in a live televised séance.

Two newly commissioned shows, Michael Jackson: The Live Séance and Michael Jackson: The Search For His Spirit, will be broadcast back-to-back on Sky in November.

Former T4 presenter, June Sarpong will present the programmes, which aim to give fans “a final chance to connect with their hero”. The séance is to take place at a secret location which was familiar to and once inhabited by the Thriller popstar. (more…)

Forthcoming Frida Kahlo book denounced as fake
by Jason Edward Kaufman
The Art Newspaper
20 August 09

Art historians assert that “lost archive” of paintings, drawings and diaries are forged

New York. A collection of Frida Kahlo oil paintings, diaries and archival material that is the subject of a book to be published by Princeton Architectural Press on 1 November has been denounced by scholars as a cache of fakes. Finding Frida Kahlo includes reproductions of paintings, drawings and handwritten letters, diaries, notes, trinkets and other ephemera attributed to the artist. They belong to Carlos Noyola and Leticia Fernández, a couple who own the antique store La Buhardilla Antiquarios in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. The publisher describes it as “an astonishing lost archive of one of the twentieth century’s most revered artists…full of ardent desires, seething fury, and outrageous humor”. (more…)

Hong Kong Broker Pulling A “Borat” On Sarah Palin
Vincent Fernando
Business Insider
September 1, 2009

Hopefully Sarah Palin realizes she’s been invited to Hong Kong as a practical joke.

CLSA, the Asia-focused broker who invited Mrs. Palin as keynote speaker for an Asian investment conference, is well known for their cheeky takes on investment research.

In the past, they’ve polled Asian fortune tellers for index targets, hired anime cartoonists to draw Japanese research, and generally love to push the boundaries between entertainment and analysis. They are a real research firm, it’s just that they love to sprinkle in some hilarity every now and then as a smart marketing gimmick.

Sarah Palin is this year’s big laugh for them. (more…)

Editor’s Note: In 1976, in one of his signature hoaxes, Joey Skaggs ran an ad in the Village Voice that said: “Cat House for Dogs, featuring a savory selection of hot bitches…” Along with this ad, he sent a press release to the media saying that if your dog graduated from obedience school, if it was his birthday, or if he was just horny, for $50 you could get your dog sexually gratified. This was not a breeding service, but purely a sexual pleasure service. The news media swallowed it hook, line and sinker. Could this be a re-run?

New Delhi Journal: Matchmaking in India: Canine Division
by Lydia Polgreen
The New York Times
August 17, 2009

New Delhi — Their lonely-hearts faces peer out of the advertisements, hangdog and looking for love.

“Hi, I am Musti,” one poster reads. “I am a well-mannered, good-looking and considerate hunk. I am very health conscious and love my carrots. I am a one-woman man and promise to take good care of you.”

And then there is Foster, all jowls and hooded eyes.

“Foster refuses to eat till we find him a girlfriend!” the poster declares.

In matrimony-mad India, where marriage is the central event of a lifetime, these posters could easily be for lovelorn, small-town bachelors, pasted up by anxious parents seeking a bride.

But the suitable girl these single fellows seek is of the furry, four-footed variety. Finding one, though, is not easy. (more…)

Charles Manson’s Secret Prison Business
New York Post, Page Six
August 2, 2009

Charles Manson secretly runs an autograph business out of his cell, peddling his signature to sicko collectors of crime memorabilia, a new book claims.

In “Five to Die,” out this month from Thor Publishing, veteran journalist Ivor Davis claims the homicidal cult leader has become one of the richest inmates in the California corrections system by selling signed photos and other mementos he quietly smuggles out of Corcoran State Prison.

“Only he doesn’t even sign the pictures. He has fellow inmates doing an assembly line of signatures for him. It shows you he’s still manipulating people. It really boggles the mind,” Davis told Page Six. (more…)